Flying High

Have found myself submerged in dreams these last few days, hours and hours of daydreaming of very detailed imaginings. It’s quite unusual for me but something that has been happening of late or maybe I’m only just recognising it. I find it quite disconcerting and wonder what the cause of it is. Is it due to the fact my life is so unfulfilled, my world so small now or my mind travelling far as my body no longer can? I suppose I shouldn’t worry about it, really what is the harm? I am more used to having two feet firmly on the ground though and to having my mind focused on what is happening in my life, how to organise it, how to deal with problems properly. Possibly as life is now so quiet, so tranquil most of the time, that my main problem is how to structure my day, how not to do too much of one thing of another, how often to rest, how to stay mentally strong but everyday is the same. Strangely enough I don’t really feel frustration, I think day to day living is physically challenging enough to keep that emotion from being too prominent, also I don’t feel boredom as much as you would imagine, of course there are moments but the overwhelming emotion is not feeling intellectually satisfied. My level of mental stimulation is very basic now as I can no longer read for any length of time or in any great depth, when I do manage to read just one complete article in The Independent, for example, I am ecstatic but that is quite rare. I have to content myself with listening to copious amounts of music and browsing art and photography websites, so sounds and pictures. I miss not being able to read properly, I have ached for it but it’s something that I’ve also grieved over and another of the things I’ve had to let go of to be able to get by day to day without plunging into severe depression. Back to my daydreams, I keep stopping myself in the middle, telling myself I’m being ridiculous but perhaps I should allow them, let them engulf me, ride the wave of the nonsensical and bathe in the glory of my imaginings. They may bring forth new ideas for writing.