Directions

Writing this blog is the right thing to do, I think. It’s funny as it is certainly focusing me more but it is changing my writing. I’ve been writing for a few months, twenty minutes or so per day when the illness has allowed me. However, before I was just writing for myself, saying my own pure thoughts, pouring out the first thing that came to mind, those very personal and private ones. Rereading a lot of that work I don’t feel it‘s suitable for here. Now I have to consider what I write, be aware of what is appropriate. I have no idea how many people are actually reading this blog and in all honesty I doubt there are that many. I think it will be the people whom I am closest to, but that still makes me careful now about what I choose to put out into the public domain. I don’t think I should stop writing the more intimate pieces but do both. I imagine the first will be cathartic while this one proves slightly harder. It is good for me, gives me something to think about whilst sprawled on the sofa for hours on end, during the days of solitude, not something I mind. I am very happy with my own company, always have been, I do now live a semi-hermit like existence, with my main human contact being through the Internet. It is very different to my prior life, which was lively, colourful and exciting to say the least but even then I would retreat into solitude fairly regularly. Obviously now I find myself mainly on my own and there is very little social outlet, I would love to get out more and I do try. I make plans but most of the time my symptoms are just too severe. A blog is perfect for someone in my situation and probably why there are a plethora for us to read. I wonder how mine will develop over the coming months, what the constraints of an audience will do to my writing. I sincerely hope it won’t become stilted. Will the focus be too much for my CFS addled brain? Just as now, it has taken me a long time to produce these last few sentences.