Shards

So hard to write anything currently, my thoughts are smattering shards, intertwined yet clashing and racing in and out of each other. Trying to grasp one and ride it through is impossible, they are intangible and flighty, they jump from one place to the next. I need them to bide their time, linger and be weighted in space so I can hold on to them, turn them over, play with them, help them grow and nurture them. These are shallow, not inconsequential as no thought ever is, but they are mischievous and have no patience for anything serious. I wonder where all the thoughts go, where are they filed, in which part of the brain until ready to reappear, sometimes the wrong thought pops out at the wrong time and the one you want for that moment refuses to come. It will come later, when it’s no longer needed and the perfect moment will have passed. How much longer this present state of mind will last I wonder, I find it quite tiring but it is out of my control. Perhaps the mind needs this playfulness for a while, to rest or subconsciously store the thoughts of consequence that will come hopefully at the appropriate time.