The Offbeat

Life in the slow lane was an odd place for me to be found ever, I was energetically ignited, had some major fire in my belly and a mind full of adventurous wanderings. One day I woke up, was shoved quite rudely into a corner, pinned down and shackled to the wall by M.E. I was given a very finite and closed space within which to move, if I try to venture past I’m quite sharply reminded by my constraints, they inflict pain and severe unrelenting exhaustion. As I’m sure you can imagine it took a little while for me to become accustomed to my new situation, I cried, I screamed, I pleaded, I begged, I tried sweet talking, giving up and imagining my freedom yet nothing worked. Eventually one day I accepted where I was even if I didn’t understand why, it didn’t make my symptoms any better but calmness prevailed and life in the slow lane began for the first time in my life.

I’ve learnt to love this gentle pace, even enjoying the juxtaposition of my place within society, watching my peers have families, get MA’s, PHD’s, their careers burgeoning, deeply ingrained in modern life juggling so many perilously balanced balls. I could quite easily fold into myself and become desperate by my lack of “life.” I’m so grateful that I rarely feel that way, I always enjoy seeing my friends’ happiness, it in turn makes me smile, and I'll take as many smiles as I can get. I travel in your timeframe through your stories. The time in which I traverse now goes at a slow beat in comparison, gentle but still rhythmic. All that I do is accompanied by a rhythm, always has been, but now I meander to a different tempo. It’s a gently lilting cadence and my steps are taken on the offbeat.